As we read the first few verses of Philippians 4 we see Paul urging people to help two people having a fight. This is an area that takes a lot of humility. Sometimes you need a third party to help resolve a dispute peacefully. Be humble. Get help. As God has uniquely gifted each person differently, there is a group of uniquely gifted people called counselors. They excel at helping people work through hard issues.
Fight clean, get a ref
Sometimes we can come to an impasse and we need someone to help make sure we're heard and making sense. Often a friend or a pastor can help with this. The issue is to make sure we're attacking the problem and not the person. But sometimes that is not enough. Friends and pastors do not day in and day out deal with hard counseling issues. Pastors often face issues, but counselors live dealing with hard issues day to day. If a friend works, great. If a pastor works, great. And if you need a counselor, that is great too.
Get a specialist
We take cars to the mechanic, we take kids to the doctor, sometimes you need to take your relationship to a counselor. Working on relationships is their area of specialty. I understand that some clergy view counseling in a negative light or see it as the Bible is not enough. There are counselors who love Jesus, know their Bible, and point people to Jesus. Counseling and the Bible are not exclusionary. It very much fits the body passages of Scripture.
When to do what?
Get wisdom from friends, guidance from your pastor, and follow it. Often that wisdom is that in this time of your life you need therapy. While pastors often give sound biblical counsel, their skill set is often not in counseling. And that is ok. We all have different areas of expertise. Proverbs says their is wisdom in a multiplicity of counselors. I've often listened to people describe situations and recommend to them a counselor who specializes in particular area. When a friend or pastor gives that advice, listen.
We all need help
At different times in our lives we need help. Sometimes friends, clergy, etc. are sufficient. And sometimes they see they're not and recommend counseling. We need to be humble and accept when people who love us say we need to get help. I've often heard people communicate failure when they need counseling. Counseling doesn't mean you failed. It means you need some one's help to succeed. We appreciate people who help us get back on our feet. Counselors do that.