Proverbs 14:4 is a fun picture of life. Where there are no oxen the manger is clean. But we need them for crops. So what gives? The point is life is messy. If we think we will get through life without conflicts or life we are delusional at best. The goal is not the absence of conflict the goal is how we respond and engage them.
The key to conflict is to not run or hide from it, but to engage with it. Often we run or hide because we've seen conflicts go poorly and have not idea of how to get through it clean. There are ways to get through conflict that are healthy and help move the relationship forward.
Engaging in conflict is one of the key ways to produce fruit. The other side of conflict is worship. We improve ourselves through conflict and also those whom we love when we engage properly. Conflict should be viewed as opportunities for growth, not land mines to avoid.
Life is messy
The reality is that life is messy and we need to be ok with that. When life is hard and not fair it doesn't mean the end nor does it mean no hope. Because we have the ability to choose we have the ability to change. The fight doesn't have to define our lives. Rather than focusing on clean stalls in a barn, we should look to the harvest of a healthy farm.